From Deanna’s perspective:
It was February 2016.
Our family life was crazy.
Difficult personalities, challenging behaviors, and a lack of connection
with a few of our children added stress to every day. I had been told that self-care was important
for the caregiver of children with special needs and a trauma history. So with that in mind, I headed to a weekend
retreat in Atlanta, GA, for a time to be with fellow adoptive and foster moms
to renew and refresh. I had no idea that
God would use a ten minute break to speak to my heart in such a profound way.
It had been a busy day of sessions at the retreat. I had ten minutes to unwind in my hotel room
and relax before dinner would be served.
I pulled out my Kindle and browsed Facebook to pass the time. That is when I saw her face. I see little
faces in my newsfeed and email all the time.
They are all sweet and needing families, but this face was different. Her
plump lips and sad eyes struck me. I
paused and without hesitation I knew in my heart that she was our
daughter. Tears rolled down my face as
the reality set in. I clicked the link
and viewed a few other pictures. Her video
showed her army crawling across the floor and then she said, “Mama.” My heart melted. She was ours.
I knew. I also knew that it
sounded crazy! “God, are you sure WE are
her family?”
I called Matt to share this with him. He was busy at home taking care of the
children while I was in Atlanta. He was
busy making dinner and doing dishes. He
told me I was crazy. Our life was crazy. NO! I
pleaded for him to check his email and take a look. The first thing he noticed was her special
need. It was something that I had not
even looked at when I saw her face. She
has a need that we had previously declined.
She has a need greater than we had ever imagined for our family. She is paralyzed from the waist down and will
likely be wheelchair bound. That sounded
crazy and terrifying, but I knew that God was at work. I told him that God had placed her on my
heart and the least we could do was to pray for this sweet one. He agreed.
The week after seeing her face, we were invited to an
evening of dinner and encouragement for foster and adoptive parents. The evening was sponsored by two adoption
support organizations: Chosen & Dearly Loved and Lifesong for Orphans. A video was shown to introduce the work that
is done by Chosen & Dearly loved. It
started with an Asian girl rolling her wheelchair joyfully down a ramp. My heart skipped a beat. I turned and smiled at Matt. Later, the organization’s founder shared his
testimony of God leading them to his daughter in the video. I, again, turned to Matt smiling. I was pretty sure God had just hit us in the
head with a 2x4. Matt still wasn’t so
sure, but he did agree that this was a pretty big coincidence. God was certainly using this evening to
soften our hearts and guide our way.
Over the next few weeks we spent a lot of time in prayer and
doing research. We connected with
families of children that are wheelchair bound.
We spoke with agency workers. We
interviewed families that had experience with the adoption agency holding her
file. We had her medical filed reviewed
by our trusted neurosurgeon.
Then, while on vacation, our adoption agency gave us an
ultimatum: make a decision in the next 48 hrs or this little girl’s profile
would be given to someone else. It was decision
time. Matt was pleading with God for a sign
so he could know “for sure”. But, no
sign had been given. That was when we
found out that China was willing to waive her orphanage fee. God had just provided the first $5600 toward
bringing our daughter home. It was a
gift from God and the sign Matt had been looking for.
Despite our concerns and fears, God was opening doors, not
closing them. He was making a way. A way through the doubts, obstacles, and trepidation.
With God’s direction and confirmation, we said, “yes!” As we have worked on completing our home study
and dossier, God has continued to reaffirm that our decision is part of His way. He has shown us to trust Him. He is reminding us that He is in control, not
us. We are so thankful for this season
of life. We thank God for bringing us on
this journey to our daughter.
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